Parenting Your Adult Child

Parenting doesn’t end when your child grow up. Although they may not live under the same roof with you, they may still need the guidance and support as adults as they did when they were younger, just not as often. Parenting your adult child will not be in the same manner as parenting younger child unless you are parenting an adult child with severe disabilities that prevent your child from becoming independent of you. But in the normal course of event, parenting your adult child will usually occur on occasions of celebration and change that is routine and positive or on occasion of crisis. Either way, parenting your adult children will come to you and you will respond as the loving parent you have always tried to be.

Parenting your adult child is often an issue when your child is in his or her college years. Of course, during the holidays and summers, your adult child may return home to live and this can be a trying time for both you and your adult child, depending on your child’s age and number of years your child has been out of the house. After college, your adult child may be in transition from school to work or school to travel and may find that living at home with you is needed or welcome. Parenting your adult child in this type of situation requires a delicate balance between support and interference. Your adult child will most likely enjoy some “pampering” with home cooked meals and late evening conversation about things going on, but will probably not want advice in the form of solutions or your making plans for his or her life. It can be challenging not to slip back into the mode of parenting you experienced when your child was not an adult. But for both your sakes, try.

Sometimes parenting your adult child will occur during or after a divorce. Your adult child and perhaps even your grandchildren may return home seeking peace, refuge and support during this trying and emotional time in their lives. This is normal and under these circumstances, if you are in a position to house your adult child and grandchildren, you and they have a lot to be grateful for. Mostly, parenting your adult child through these times will require nothing more than a temporary home and your unconditional love.

If your adult child has special needs resulting from a condition that has been present since birth or very early on, you will just be transitioning everything you have always done for this child as maturity sets in and adjusting and accommodating your adult child’s needs accordingly. But if parenting your adult child is a sudden situation due to illness or accident, it will be important for you to get support for yourself and access all the resources that you can in order to cope with the stress and trauma that may come along with the need for parenting your adult child.

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