8 Bad Reasons for Adopting a Child
8 Bad Reasons for Adopting a Child
Contrary to popular opinion, adopting isn’t always the right decision to make. Certain situations can make the choice of adopting the wrong one, and if you truly care about the child youre planning to adopt make sure youve the right reasons for adopting a child.
8 Bad Reasons for Adopting a Child
Its easy to identify the right reasons for adopting a child. If you and your partner have a genuine desire for raising a child with the capacity of loving him as if he was your own, then yes, of course you should go ahead with your decision. But the wrong reasons for adopting a child are something people find it harder to determine simply because they also find it hard to accept that theyre adopting for the wrong reasons.
Adoption is a Fad Just because the likes of Angelina Jolie (who started the fad), Madonna, and even Sharon Stone are doing it doesnt mean you have to do the same just so you can be fashionable. Regardless of the kind of lifestyle you can afford to give your adopted child, adopting him for such a shallow reason will still end up hurting and pushing him away. Youre adopting a child, not an object!
Adoption is a Safety Net for Your Marriage Your marriage is breaking apart, and you feel that adopting a child will keep you together. Your insecurities might make you feel that way, but listen to your logic and conscience. Adopting a child to keep your marriage from breaking isn’t practical because its not the root of your problem. Secondly, adopting a child for such reasons isnt fair to the child since youre using him rather than loving him the way he deserves to be.
Adoption Will Prevent You from Feeling Lonely This is wrong. Loneliness is a state that you brought upon yourself, and adopting a child, at most, can only make it go away temporarily. And when it returns, your loneliness could have a negative effect on your adopted child.
Adoption is the Solution to Your Ticking Biological Clock Youre in your mid-thirties and youre still single. Youre scared that youre going to die alone and if you postpone things much more, you might be unable to have a child at all. You want to adopt a child because you feel you cant give birth to one naturally. While this isnt technically wrong, are you really sure youre ready for the rigors of parenthood? Its not a life of bed of roses, definitely!
Adoption Will Give You a Heir This isnt bad as a secondary reason, but it wont do at all as a primary reason. Seeing your adopted child as a heir and not as your son might make you treat him more like an apprentice. You could end up being too strict without meaning to, and thats once more unfair to your adopted child.
Adoption is All about What You Want If you are married, make sure that your partner is amenable to your plans for adoption because if he or she isnt, that could complicate things and prevent you from giving your adopted child the life he deserves.
Adoption Allows You to Have a Beautiful Looking Child If you adopt an older child, youll have an idea if he or shes going to grow up good-looking. Looks are, however, never a good basis for adoption because your adopted child doesnt deserve to have his value solely based on his looks. Learning the truth behind his adoption might make him feel confused about his value as a person later on.
Adoption Will Replace the Child Youve Lost This is very wrong because you might end up comparing your adopted child with the child youve lost. He might grow up lacking confidence, having lived in the shadow of your deceased child all his life. In this situation, its better to grieve as much you want, accept reality then adopt a child only when you have moved on completely and are ready to make a brand new start in your life.
Adoption isn’t an easy process for you, but you should be aware that its a more difficult process for the person being adopted since he or she doesnt yet have the necessary maturity to cope with the life he was born with. Think long and hard about your plans so that you wont end up hurting anyone.
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